I could never have believed that God’s forgiveness was possible during the decades that I spent in post-abortion shame and isolation. It took a sonogram picture of my soon-to-be granddaughter to awaken a powerful haunting of conscience within me. My secret would no longer stay unspoken. I’m sure God tried to call me home decades ago but evil darkened my soul and held me captive in shame. I was afraid, feeling unworthy to dare to ask God if I could come back home. That’s probably why he sent me a parachute.
Entering Canaan was almost a miraculous experience for me that started with an internet search finding Project Rachel. I became frantic to find relief but kept losing the battle with my demons who reminded me constantly of my nerve to think God wanted to hear from me! I prayed and prayed to just get the courage to call that number, and to tell my story and to take that risk. It took time, and many nightmares of looking for the lost child that I left somewhere. So I called that number, I did it, I cared enough about myself and my aborted child to do something and then my parachute arrived.
I can’t begin to tell you the depth of the emotional and spiritual experience that I had both during confession with Father Thomas, CFR, and at my Prayer and Healing weekend retreat at the Villa Maria Guadalupe Convent. Their compassion and intelligent approach to healing just left me in awe of the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal and the Sisters of Life and of Theresa Bonopartis from the ministry Entering Canaan.
I’ve learned that Jesus’ voice never puts you down rather it lifts you up and that sin makes things fuzzy so that you can’t see the truth. Abortion is wrong. It’s not natural for the body and will always leave you mentally unhealthy. I’m so grateful that these organizations exist and feel suchhope because of their passion for God and his Divine Mercy, for unborn life, and renewal of my catholic faith.